If a paranoid person’s suspicions turn out to be true, is it still
paranoia? Distrust, or mistrust, implies an unreasonable
suspicion. “I think my neighbor is a Martian” is a paranoid thought, until he begins
eating my car tires and flees in his portable spaceship. I guess I’d need to
capture that on film to prove my suspicions justified and free me from my mislabeled paranoia. It would simply prove my heightened state of awareness.
Earlier this past week, my wife finally confessed that she has never loved me, even when
we first got married. She freely admitted to “doing whatever it took” to win a
court case to get her son back. Evidentially, giving the appearance of a stable
home-life was important, regardless of any collateral damage. I’m not sad. I
feel like an asshole for being played so easily – again, but I’m not sad. What is sad is that this kid is an
amazing person saddled with a schemer for a mom, and sadly, he gets the short
end of the stick. This year was my worst ever, but it will end tonight and I
will begin anew once more.
We have all had bad years, and some of you are going through your own personal
hell. I’m sorry about that. I wish I could magically fix everyone problems. I’d like to offer you a suggestion. Tonight, (or
late tomorrow afternoon when the party ends,) take a shower, wash the past off of
you, go to bed and wake up fresh. Pretend tomorrow is your first day ever, except
you have the experience of knowing who and what to avoid. Knowledge is on your
side. Choosing your own path is a gift. If you don't like your life, change it. Really, you're the only one that can. I wish everyone the best for 2012.
“The beginning is one place I’ve been before.” - Jon
Anderson
Oh, Charlie.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sad to read this, but you're so amazing and positive and optimistic that the sadness only lingered for a moment. I think you must be the strongest person I know right now.
2011 was your worst year, and it's over. I won't be so bold as to predict that 2012 will be your best year, but I know it will be SO MUCH BETTER than last year. And hooray for that. And I'm so glad I'll be around to see it. :)
HUGS. If you're ever in Toronto, you had better look me up.
Jennifer, what a nice comment. If I dropped dead tomorrow, 2012 would be a better year for me! lol
ReplyDeleteSeriously, thank you for your support. 2012 WILL be a good one, I can feel it. I have no Canadian plans as of yet, but the next time your in NYC for a signing, I'll be there.